Feel it in your bones

Ok. so i had this feel-it-in-your-bones, soul-about-to-burst kind of worship tonight. one of the best. seriously. i don't think i've ever been more in tune with christ. my soul was welling up and i was ready to burst. SO much love filled in my core - in my inner being. you guys. i don't think you understand!! while i was singing, i was gasping for air. hyperventilating, as you will. i.did.not.care.who.was.in.the.room. it was just me and jesus. so beautiful. so raw. so..SOOO many things. so many emotions encompassed me. god was there. holy spirit and all. during the kaleo service on a wednesday night. october 6th - which didn't even feel like october at all. rain and cold. but heck, i don't even CARE! i will remember this day. forever and ever. UGH GOD IS GOOD!

another tangent that i'm going off on today. have you ever asked: "ok god, show me a sign whether i should be doing [insert here], or not? well this definitely happened to me today. god answered me. but in no way that i could have imagined. i was uncertain on meeting up with this certain person, but i went in with..."ok god, from this time on, give me a sign whether I should be continually meeting up with this person." HA! and boy did he answer. the conversation that was taken place was god awful (i know that's not a really good thing to say - but it sums it up pretty well). i went in with some kind of expectations that it wouldn't go awfully wrong, but it totally did. it shook me up quite a bit. so frustrating. and all that i was saying was being twisted. twisted into me looking like a bad person. making me look like i was a judgmental shrewd or something. needless to say...my point being, is that god answered me! i got what i had wanted. it is true that god works in mysterious ways. but you know what, i learned from this conversation with this person. god is SO much bigger, and the problems i face aren't even that big of a deal. it's not even about me. it's about me doing god's will. lord, take my life and do what you please. i am yours. I AM ALL YOURS. use me. and that's that. it's simple.

god is with me. god is in me. god's love is in me. i am loved.