Today.

Today was really hard for me. Being at college is sometimes lonely. Being new to things is lonely. I forgot how it feels, maybe this is a rude awakening. i have learned i don't do well with being alone. and maybe that's okay. maybe God is trying to teach me something. i am ok with that. i will be ok with that. i need peace with being here. i need to give others grace, and patience. i need time to be accustomed to simpson. this is change, it's all new. i will be ok. lord, be with me. i cannot do this alone - although it sure feels like i am alone in this. but i trust in you. i am trusting. i am learning.

FunFact. Ok, not fun, but fact, yes.

So I was talking to two of my Jewish friends from Israel (what a hoot they are!). And they were talking to me on Facebook Chat. 1 on one conversation, and the other on another one. Anyway, they came to me about what to do 'cause they got into a fight with each other after school. They are best friends, keep that in mind. Well, we got to talking..and both of them started talking about the fight at the same. exact. time. I told my friend Eddie..wait a minute, I think they're messing with me. But I was like nah, 'cause what if they were for real fighting and I just totally blew them off. So I took it as a real deal. I guess the fight got so heated that they put hummus on each other's doors (they are neighbors, apartment buddies down the road from me). Well, I guess in Israel, it's something that is a big NO-NO. Almost like, putting blood on your door and saying that I want to kill you. I thought this was pretty odd, but okay. I even googled it, but nothing came up. So I asked my other Jewish Israeli friend about putting hummus on doors, and he too, said it was SO rude. Turns out, my friends were joking with me the whole time, they weren't really fighting at all. They just wanted to test me out, if I was a good friend or not! eugh. One was at the other's house, and got this brilliant idea that they should play a prank on me. Yup, I'll admit it, I got PUNK'D! Boo. But the fact is really true - Putting hummus on someone's door is a serious thing. That is the fun fact, well not fun, but just a fact. This is so long and drawn out, but whatever. Perks of going to an international school. So many cultures, nationalities, all in one school! 

Anyway, I just got back from a 2 mile run and I feel so gooOOOood! Can you say endorphins kicking in? YES PLEASE! I am going to bed now, 'cause I have icky school tomorrow. Ugh, I wish we were over already, although I hate it when people complain about it..on their facebook status, so I guess this doesn't make it any better. hypocrite? maybe. Prom is in 2 weeks, and I have yet to find, actually no, not find, look for a dress. Meh. Prom. Lame.

Okay, really gunna go now. bye cyberworld!

oh my lanta

So i was just watching Beauty and the Geek today (which is a few seasons back because the good ol' Thailand isn't cool enough as America to have up to date seasons) and it was about the Geeks having transformations. Like looks and such. And this one particular man blew me away! I sat at the TV thinking "na uh, this cannot be him, no way jose." I was so flabbergasted so I must share with the blogging world. 

Be floored like I was! Cheers.

Yowza!

Gosh. Love this song. Love this video. Videos like this and other art, make me wish that I had some impeccable talents in being creative. 

Those are some hot shoes in the end!

Return to Paradise

Give up three years of your life, or give up a life of your friend. You have eight days to decide.

I'm just really curious what you would do. Today, we watched Return to Paradise in class. This movie really moved me, and it made me think...would I really go to jail to save the life of my friend? 

This movie is about 3 guys going to Malaysia, Lewis, Sheriff, and Tony. They go there to enjoy paradise - drinks, girls, and hash. As the summer ends, Tony and Sheriff go back to America while Lewis stays behind and plans on going to Borneo to save the Orangutans. Before Lewis gets to leave for Borneo, he was arrested for possession of the leftover hash that they've left at the Malaysian bungalow they were staying at. And now is sentenced to death, because he is being accused of drug trafficking. Two years go by while Lewis is in jail, Sheriff and Tony don't even know until Lewis' lawyer finds them both in New York living separate lives. They have a decision to make..in eight days. Either three years in jail if both Sheriff and Tony go, six years if only one of them goes, and Lewis' death if neither of them goes. 

It just got me thinking, if I was in Tony's or Sheriffs position, I don't know what I'd do. I mean, right now, I would do it willingly. He is my friend, and if it means 3 years in jail for me, in order for him to live, I would do it. Ask me later? I'm not really sure. But I know for now, I would save my friend who had the decency to not even mention me or another person even though we both contributed to the weed possession. What a great man Lewis was. This movie breaks my heart into a million little pieces. It's something that you'd for sure want to watch! So this is my question to you guys...would you save your friend by going to jail?

Here's the movie trailer, although I wanted to show you guys the video that Lewis sent to Sheriff, while in jail, asking for him to come to Malaysia and serve his time, for the sake of his life. 

Ugh.

Okay, the stupid blog layout is so crazy..and i can't fix it. but, this is the picture that breaks/makes my heart into million little pieces. I feel like crying whenever I see this picture. It is beauty. I can't even explain how much this photo moves me!! I love love. Does that make sense?

Beautiful Captures

       So my friend Caitlin forwarded the COOLEST email I have ever received in my lifetime. Like these pictures are the coolest things ever created on the face of this earth..known to man. I know, I'm making a really big deal out of these. And hopefully you find these amusing as I do.

Cheers

Ps - I secretly wish that I had the talent to be able to capture these beautiful sights. And sorry, the layout is wacked. I will add more later.

This one makes/breaks my heart into a million little pieces.

MOKKA choca LATTE ya ya

So this picture was of the Safety Team of Camp Hammer this past summer. Loved these girlies to death! Can't even explain how much they mean to me. They're the best friendsies ever..we basically became a family. Okay, but enough about that. The main reason I'm writing this is that, i never thought that we'd be working again together. But low and behold, it turns out that Rebekkah (Mokkalatte) and I will be lifeguarding again! Although Callie (Monark) won't be the lovely nurse, she'll be there in spirits! I had applied for a counseling job for this summer at Camp and I totally felt that my heart was set on it. Through waiting and waiting, I got really nervous thinking that well, maybe, I won't be getting the job after all, since the people who I've talked to had already been hired. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I'd be there to serve as a lifeguard again. But anyway, I got an email saying that Camp Hammer would like to offer me a lifeguarding position again this year. When I read it, I kinda didn't know how I felt about it. With mixed feelings, I started getting really nervous about it. I just didn't know where to begin my train of thought. After calming down, and talking to some friends that have previously worked at camp, I felt like I made the right decision to take this job again. I am whole-heartedly willing to take this job again, and although I didn't get offered the counseling job, I trust in the Lord that this was where He wanted me to be. I want to serve the kids this summer, and just because I'm not a counselor doesn't mean that I won't be able to. All in all, I'm really glad I made the decision, and made the decision on how I felt, and no one else. It's actually a great feeling. Freeing, actually. Plus, with having experience doing it last year, I feel like although things may be different this year, I will have a better understanding of the lifeguarding system, so my attention can be more towards the kids. I'm thoroughly like really excited. ECSTATIC! And my lovely and trusty friend will be at my side again. :) Mokkalatte and Skooner! And who knows, perhaps we'll be a trio this year! Nonetheless, I just cannot wait for summer. :) eeeeek.

Land of Smiles

Most of you probably know that I live in Thailand. Yes. And no, it isn't in America, and no, I don't live in a shack, nor ride an elephant to school (people have actually asked me these questions). Many of you also know that (I love how I'm saying 'many' when I don't even know who reads this, but that's besides the point) I don't really like Thailand, and ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to move to California. But in these past two days, I've thought to myself numerous of times that "I'm gunna miss this." Although hot and humid as it always is, I'm gunna miss it being hot year round, and being able to go to the pool whenever. I will miss the tropical-ness. Even looking outside, I see pretty purple flowers on trees and bee's stopping by.  It's weird how I've taken Thailand for granted, and with me leaving in three months, it finally has hit me that I'm going to miss this. I've been blessed with living an international life, and I thank God for that. God, you are good. It's not only the climate I'm going to miss, but the culture too. The Thai's are basically great. I'm glad that I've realized early enough that I will miss it here, so that I can take in the beauty that Thailand has to offer.

Walking the dogs around my neighborhood (Tanktop and Shorts in March...do you have the luxury to do that?)

Beach Retreat in '07

Today, I am Jack

Stamp fun!

Close up attempt of stamp (Golfer guy with Jack written underneath)

Being groggy, delirious, and giddy as i was today, Peter and I had a stamp fight in psychology class! immature, yes. but fun at the same time. while we were supposed to be listening to other groups present their powerpoints, Peter and I had gotten ahold of mr. garstka's stamp. if only you guys could've seen the cool dragon one that i stamped on peter, a few times. he totally beat me on the stamping war, mainly because he had the ink for the stamp. hogger. :( the reason why i decided to write this random silly blog is because today was just an icky day. with 4 hours of sleep, and working on a math internal assessment for like 6 hours, today wasn't such a good one. i feel like there are just loads and loads of work piled up, and the teachers are just waiting until we all crack from all the pressure, and just laugh at us. boo, teachers. ever since i got back to bhutan, it was like a slap in the face with all the homework that i've had. when will it get better? who knows. but seriously, the stamp immaturity brightened up my day just a bit, so i thought i'd share. even the simplest things can make someone's mood completely change, and i love that! thank goodness that we're still human and know how to have fun. today was a good day. tonight will be a good night. thank you peter, for the maturity that we definitely lacked today. :)

FCD - known as Freedom From Chemical Dependency, but also known as WASTE OF TIME

So today was a Monday. meaning back to school, back to homework, back to eating yucky school lunches, back to... you name it. i just really hate monday's. but don't we all? today wasn't so bad and during our assembly, my luck has maybe changed after all, for the better. thank goodness for that, but we'll just have to see. anyway, getting back to my point, i had free period last today, which i could have gone home for. but noo, what did i have to do? attend this FCD class, which came last year from america as well. talking about staying away from drugs, and drinking, you know that kinda stuff. although, the man didn't even really have a reason for being there. this is what the whole time consisted of..."i had good grades, but then drugs took ahold of me."..."i was a pretty good student, but then i let it all go."..."oh and did i mention, i had good grades, like top of my class..but then i didn't care because drugs took over my life." yep, basically that was the whole story that Roger had to tell us. pretty eventful. i could have been at home and not have been required to attend this silly business. we have him again on Wednesday. woowoo. i'm really excited!!! can't you tell? so yep, that was my monday at school. i have a lot of homework tonight. i have this huge paper for math due tomorrow..yeah, who would've thought that you'd have to write a paper about math. who knew? homework is busy work. i can't wait until homework dwindles down. when that day comes, i will be forever grateful. that's all i really wanted to say. WOE IS ME! basically sums up this whole blog.

i'm really not good at this blog world. yikes.

Satisfied

Sooo..i don't think people will read this, but i don't care, cause it lets me process things. booyah! today was a really chilled day-something that i needed for quite some time. these past few weeks have been just empty and bland..and i mean empty and bland by stating my emotions. i just feel a little bit lost, and in need to be brought back into fun, happy days. does that even make sense? i had traveled to bhutan 2 weeks ago, and ever since being back..i feel alone? maybe it's because i had to leave a beautiful country, and say goodbye to a new friendship that was shaped along the course of the trip in bhutan. okay, let me tell you, bhutan was probably the most beautiful country ever, like ever. and i mean that. it's just so authentic, like its been un-touched from civilization..urban areas, that kind of sort. we went hiking for three days, so much fun, but really painful at the same time. being in high elevation and steeep steeeeep climbs i wasn't mentally prepared at first, but then it became fun...until we had to go downhill! let me explain...me being really dumb hadn't realized that it was better to buy hiking boots half a size bigger so that your toes don't jam against the tip of the shoe. yeah, i found that out quite soon after our first day going downhill. my toes hurt, real bad. especially my big toes. we walked 6-7 hours on our first day, and then we get told that we'll walk like 7 hours the next day. i was like alright, i think my poor little toesies can handle it. HA, SYKE! the 7 hour walk became 9 hours..yeah, only 9. it was pretty much all downhill and my poor toes were killing me. like the feeling of my toenails about to be ripped off the skin. yep. pretty much. i was seriously SO happy to see our campsite...hallelujah! the third day..it was ALL down hill, like steep steep. i'm telling you, like if you don't watch the trail, you're pretty much gunna fall off the cliff. no biggie. so they brought a horse...but mind you, it wasn't like an american big sturdy horse..no, no, it was a horse but the size of a pony. which neighed like the whole way..and while getting on, there wasn't a proper saddle..so i almost fell off a couple of times. it sounds like i'm whining(ha, i just read this over..and it REALLY sounds like i am whining, sorry guys, but i'm too lazy to change this)..but really, it was a great adventure. i was so thankful for grandpa who was steering the horse and walking with us all the way to our bus.(by the way, grandpa was only 55...but looked much older..oops) sorry this is so long, and i basically just lost track of what i originally was gunna write about in this blog. to make things short and sweet about bhutan..it was the best vacation ever and on my previous post, on the list that i made, it says that i wish to return to bhutan sometime and stay for at least a month. so i'm gunna make it happen. yes. and see my dear friend jamyang!

wow, but what i was originally gunna write about was that after going to church today and small groups..i feel content with myself. it's been awhile that i've felt this feeling, and i'm glad it's back. i just wish for no more gloomy days, and enjoy what i have until it's all gunna be gone. i need to appreciate. i do. i really do. i need to appreciate family, friends, God, school, but in a sense, i feel like i take that all for granted. forgive me. i am thankful, i am. i'm really blessed and cannot thank the Lord enough for the life that He has given me. so basically what i've been wanting to say in this long, drawn out blog is that God is good. God is great. He is my strength, my guide. I am forever thankful. Amen to that, friendsies.

And so it all begins

after contemplating whether to make a blog or not, i figured why not make a blog? So it's a saturday night, and the pops is gone. So basically, I have no life currently. While sitting at the computer, i decided to make a list of things that i need to do before i die. here are the some that i just came up with:

Things before I die:

-Ride a bike with no handlebars

-Travel to Africa (or wherever) on a missions trip

-Get married and have children

-Live in New Zealand

-Make my way back to Bhutan, and stay for at least a month

-Be able to french braid

-Be vulnerable on stage, and actually sing

-Have a father/daughter dance to "My Little Girl" - Tim McGraw

-See Rascal Flatts in concert

-Be a Killer Whale trainer at the San Diego Zoo

-Having the patience to finish a knitting project or whatever art inspirations for that matter

-Impact a child's life this summer - where ever it may be

-Sky-diving, and Bungee Jumping

-Be able to speak pig-latin

I've never made a list like that, so that was kinda fun..but then when i couldn't think of anything else, it's back to me just sitting on the computer wondering what i can do to amuse myself. So, this blog is the latest thing that's amusing me. gosh, when i read other's blogs, they're so much spiffier and cooler but mine is just lacking overall. apologies my friends. seriously, i thought by making this, i would have so much cooler stuff to say, but i just really don't. i guess i can talk about last night! well, my small group had a little sleep over at my small group leader's house, and wait for it..it was 90's themed! i was pretty excited but then was like wait a tick...what did people wear then? i've come to a conclusion that there was no "set" attire back in the '90s as apposed to like the 60's and 70's. so pretty much, i ended up dressing like a hot mess. i couldn't even tell you what i was. but i sure didn't win the best dressed there! haha. although my friend crystal and i won thelip-syncing contest. woowoo. after seriously eating our whole body weight of snacks, and finishing Clueless("as if!" was like the coolest saying in the movie), we went on an adventure and TP'd! 10 girls crammed into a car, with so many rolls of toilet paper, all the thai's in 7 11 looked at us like we were all a bunch of crazies. so thrilling and fun, but i'm pretty sure the guy knows that us girls TP'd the house. meh. okay, so this thing is pretty boring. and not so much fun to read, so i'll just end this by saying that the 90's sleepover was "DA BOMB!" pretty much. 

remember this? "loser loser double loser, as if, get the picture, duh!" it doesn't even get better than that.